MY APPROACH
Welcome — and thank you for taking the time to explore whether this work might be a good fit for you. Our closest relationships shape so much of our well‑being, and yet they are often the places where we feel the most pain, confusion, and disconnection.
My work is grounded in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT), one of the most researched and effective approaches to helping couples repair and strengthen their bond. EFT is based on attachment theory — the understanding that we are wired for connection, and that our intimate partners become our most important source of emotional safety.
When that bond feels threatened, our nervous system reacts instantly. We move into protective positions — protesting, pursuing, shutting down, withdrawing — not because we don’t care, but because we care so much. These moves make sense, but they often pull partners further apart.
In our work together, we slow down these moments so we can understand what’s happening underneath the protection: the fears, longings, and hopes that are much harder to name. When partners can share from this deeper place, the patterns that keep them stuck begin to shift, and a different kind of emotional experience becomes possible — one that feels safer, clearer, and more connected.
My presence is warm, holding, active, and deeply attuned as we move through the work. I will challenge you to go into the places that keep you stuck while staying right there with you. I’m not here to “fix” your relationship, but to walk alongside you as we make sense of what’s happening and create the conditions for something new to emerge. It’s a privilege to do this work.
PROFESSIONAL
I am a licensed psychologist in San Diego, CA and maintain active licenses to practice in both California (PSY32934) and Iowa (113234). I received my Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Iowa State University in 2020 and completed my APA-accredited predoctoral internship at VA Los Angeles Ambulatory Care Center. Additionally, I completed a postdoctoral residency at VA San Diego Healthcare System, where I received specialized training in providing evidence-based couple therapy to Veterans and their partners.
Before my doctoral training, I earned a Master of Social Work and a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Communication Studies from UCLA.
I have completed my Externship and Core Skills training in Emotionally-Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) through the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT). I continue to refine my craft through advanced training, supervision, and ongoing study as I work toward full certification as an EFT therapist.
PERSONAL
When I’m not working with clients, I love exploring new restaurants in San Diego, going to comedy shows, exercising, cooking and baking, watching true crime and reality TV, and nerding out on my EFT studies. I also really enjoy being a mom to my young daughter — she brings so much joy and meaning to my life.
CONTACT
Please do not hesitate to contact me at drko@couplesandself.com or 619-717-6699. I look forward to connecting with you!