MEET DR. STACY KO

Choosing a therapist means trusting someone with parts of yourself — and, for couples, your relationship — that may feel deeply personal, painful, or difficult to put into words. I don’t take that trust lightly. It’s a privilege to be invited into these places with my clients, and I bring both warmth and a deep commitment to helping you create meaningful change.

I’m a psychologist who works with individuals and couples, and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is at the heart of how I work. EFT is an attachment-based, experiential approach that helps us get underneath the ways we protect ourselves when the people and relationships that matter most feel at risk — and access what we most need or long for underneath. I’m especially drawn to places where you may already understand what keeps you stuck, but insight and skills alone haven’t been enough to change it. Together, we slow things down, stay with experiences you may have learned to move away from, and find new ways of responding. The focus is on moving beyond simply talking about your patterns to experiencing something different.

I have a particular passion and specialization in couple therapy, helping partners recognize the protective moves that take over when their bond feels threatened — protesting, trying harder to be understood, explaining, defending, shutting down, or pulling away — and begin taking new emotional risks with one another. In individual therapy, we bring that same curiosity to your own protective patterns, helping you stay with yourself when difficult emotions arise, make room for what you need, and respond differently in the moments that have historically pulled you away from yourself or others.

My presence is warm, holding, active, and deeply attuned as we move through the work. I will challenge you to go into the places that keep you stuck while staying right there with you. I’m not here to “fix” you or your relationship, but to walk alongside you as we make sense of what’s happening and create the conditions for something new to emerge. It’s a privilege to do this work.

PROFESSIONAL

I am a licensed psychologist in San Diego, CA and maintain active licenses to practice in both California (PSY32934) and Iowa (113234). I received my Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Iowa State University in 2020 and completed my APA-accredited predoctoral internship at VA Los Angeles Ambulatory Care Center. Additionally, I completed a postdoctoral residency at VA San Diego Healthcare System, where I received specialized training in providing evidence-based couple therapy to Veterans and their partners.

Before my doctoral training, I earned a Master of Social Work and a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Communication Studies from UCLA.

I have completed my Externship and Core Skills training in Emotionally-Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) through the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT). I continue to refine my craft through advanced training, supervision, and ongoing study as I work toward full certification as an EFT therapist.

PERSONAL

When I’m not working with clients, I love exploring new restaurants in San Diego, going to comedy shows, exercising, cooking and baking, watching true crime and reality TV, and nerding out on my EFT studies. I also really enjoy being a mom to my young daughter — she brings so much joy and meaning to my life.

CONTACT

Please do not hesitate to contact me at drko@couplesandself.com or 619-717-6699. I look forward to connecting with you!